Am I ugly, am I unsexy - why did he cheat?
saw him nearly every night and we were always together. His family and mine were happy or us. He told me quite early on that he would like to work abroad at some point. I spent most of my time trying to find a job abroad so we could go together. My only stipulation was he try and go to an english speaking country as this gave me a good chance of finding a job as well as I wanted him to have his dream. After 5 or 6 years, I mentioned isnt it about time we started thinking about living tgether? He said that he was scared of living together so I agreed how about we try
me staying more than 1 night a week t start off with as we are together all the time on holidays and it has never been a problem. He agreed but it never happened. After 6 years like this my family and his started to say he was using me as we did everything couples do except live together. They constantly questioned me about where we were going, if we had a future etc. They semed to blame me where it was his decision to not have us move in. I told him to please talk to them as I was under so much pressure from everybody. Last year I lost my job unfairly and was considering legal action. I was in such a mess and told him he could do better than me as I was a nothing and a nobody (I was very depressed) After 5 weeks I found another job but found out he had secretely asked another girl out. He said he was so sorry,it was becuase I said he could do better. We stayed together, I said we need to move this relationship up as engaged now for 4 years and still no
improvement on living together. I decided to get out from the pressure of my parents and buy my own home. He agreed and helped me with the deposit saying we would have our own place (even though he already lives alone) so he could live with me. During this his pal, became ill with Cancer - he dealt with this by cutting himself off from me saying he was going through a terrible time and his job was possibly being cut too. I said should we have a break so he could deal with the situation, he said he couldnt handle any external pressure namely me as I was asking him when I coud stay the night (getting angry in the process as he didnt undertsand why I felt used for sex) After two months of not seeing him properly, I asked him what was going on and he said everytime he saw me he gets stressed out. I have stood by him through two fatal accidents, his workload, his ups and downs etc and was finally at breaking point. I found out that a younger girl (20 yrs
younger) had asked him out and he was seeing her. she told me to get lost he was with her now!!
She text me lots of vindictive messages and he did not stop it. He said he was at his lowest when he met her and wants us to get back together. the house I bought went through when he was with her. I am on my own now doing it up, his work found out about them and sacked him. He has now had to move away for work. Is this my fault and how do I get us back together.
When I asked him why he did this, he said because I told him I would be leaving after another year if things didn?t change a bit, also he was at his lowest point in life because of his pal dying. He told me he only got engaged to me to keep me until somebody better came along. After 6 months we started talking again and he said he didnt mean anything he said. have now found out he is seeing somebody abroad; I saw their photo on face book. I confronted him and he has just said he doesnt want to hurt me.
Now though, he is with this other woman moving on. The girl he cheated on me with has moved onto her next target without a care in the world. I am left holding the bag all on my own. She broke us up like a tornado and has now left a path of destruction. How do I get my life on track, I have not many pals and am very alone. I see her everywhere happy and smiling whereas I have just lost the bset thing I ever had and I cant cope with the loss. Her ex told me she is destructive. She breaks up families and moves on. Now my guy and I are in different countries and moving on. How do I move on to? I just cant take this.
I really want to meet that special person and thought I’d found him. Am I ugly, please look at pic and tell me.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=308584&id=1080292859&ref=fbx_album#!/photo.php?pid=73700&id=1080292859&ref=fbx_album
if your not going to write anything HELPFUL, just dont bother because its a waste of time.
Tagged with: 6 years • cancer • couples • finding a job • good chance • holidays • parents • relationship • stipulation
Filed under: Tornado
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Oh my word! You are gorgeous! Never ever ever ever ever think otherwise. You’re beautiful. There is no way he cheated on you because you’re not beautiful.
People do desperate things when they are under a lot of stress…Guys unfortunately usually cheat on their girlfriends. Who knows why….but it’s not because of anything you did. It sounds to me like he was afraid of responsibility, afraid of the idea that moving in together would mean more work for him. It was selfish and stupid, and frankly….you may not want to hear this, but that girl who he cheated with did you a favor by causing the break-up. You deserve someone so much better who can provide for you and take care of you, not cause so much pressure and tension in your life. You deserve a man who will love you and adore you and who will inspire you to do great things, not bring you down. Never doubt that you deserve better than him. That girl may be your worst enemy right now, but when you meet the real guy of your dreams….man will you be thanking her… There are guys out there who will give you so much more than that man did.
Pining is ok, but don’t let this ruin your life. You’re a sexy, youthful woman who has a desire for life. You can’t give up now after fighting for so long. You need to get out there, make some friends, learn what gives you the greatest happiness, and pursue it with no regrets. Pick yourself up and run towards joy.. don’t wallow in sadness. You’ll regret never moving on from this relationship! You have so much in store for you and you can’t let this upset the rest of your life. Prove that woman wrong and don’t let her ruin your life, and prove him wrong by not letting him thing he was the best thing you could have. You deserve so much better, and now it’s time to go after it. Don’t dwell on the past. Live in the present, accept the past, and move toward the future. You have a great life ahead of you, it’s just a matter of taking it into your hands and pushing the "on" button.
Do what makes you happy, find friends that encourage and promote your happiness, and someday soon you’ll run into the guy you’ve needed this whole time…and you’ll be so happy that you got out of this whole mess while you could.
Distract yourself by redecorating the house, or putting in extra hours at work. Take a dance or yoga class, or an art class. Learn an instrument. Take that free time you have now that you don’t have that man to worry about and put it to good use!! Don’t waste it wishing it all had never happened.
And never forget that you are a beautiful, strong woman who has the ability and courage to get through this whole thing and move on to a better, far more fulfilling life.
Best of luck
and I hope I helped just a little. You rock, and you better believe it.
EDIT: And keep in mind that taking classes or doing social things to distract yourself will help you meet new people! Nothing like a new friend to keep you busy
never read that or looked at ur pics but GET OVER YOURSELF, some guys will think ur hot, some not, THATS LIFE
tl;dr, but from the pics I’d do you.
Im sorry that is jsut way too much to read, but i looked at ur facebook page at the end and ur pretty (:
Im sorry i dont know why he cheated. Maybe he just got over u, the truth sometimes hurts im sorry. maybe he just wanted something more out of a relationship? something that u werent giving him? im sorry i dont know what else to say. But keep looking, ull find a guy that loves u for who u are, and thats faithful. i promise. just move on and forget bout this guy. You deserve so much better than him. I wish u the best of luck.
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Because he’s a selfish a-hole! Just stop thinking about it.
First things first, stop having a single thought that you’re ugly because you aren’t and keep in mind that if you were, he wouldn’t have been with you to begin with. He’s a fool. My advice is to move on. There’s never a justifiable reason for anyone to cheat because they always have a choice of breaking up instead of cheating. It was cowardly of him. You will find someone new, you just have to get back out there and make a fresh start.
damn that was loong asss, no one is going to read that unless they’re bored ass hell.
don’t take this as its your fault and everything its basically his fault for missing out on you and its a pretty good thing because you now realized that he is not the man for you.
if this guy will cheat on you than he will do it in the future so just be glad that you found out he’s an idiot. don’t run back to him and if he comes to you tell him to FUCK off because he will do it again.
be an independant woman and speak your mind!!
don’t let this asshole get you down!!
You’re definitely not ugly, I’d do you.
The lighting is kind of weird in that picture but no you’re not unattractive, sometimes I wish I could help each and every person that is in your situation but then I remember this is the internet and it would be impossible
Your fit!…..I would have shown the other pic!
Forget him and find someone who will treat you right! get out for a drink at a local bar and let the local lads take care of you lonliness!
Ok, that was the longest thing I’ve read since high school! Anyway I know how you feel, my ex girlfriend cheated on me while I was in Iraq. But the best thing to do is just to move on. We don’t need these kind of people in our lives. I don’t respect cheaters one bit, but there are people who fool you into thinking that there in a relationship to be "in relationship" but there really only in it so they can say there not alone in the world. Good luck.
He’s obviously not the guy you thought he was, and to be honest, it does sound like he was using you. Personally, i think that the only way to make him WANT you, would be for him to see you happy with someone else, and not wanting him any more. This should get to him, if he cares about you AT ALL. Hope this helps:) good luck! and you’re not ugly
I find it unfortunate that so many people blame themselves when someone betrays them. People often idolize their partners… you say he was ‘the best thing I ever had’. Would a person that truly loves you hurt you in this way? Saying ‘I love you’ and proving it are very different things. We won’t find people that love and respect us until we truly understand that we’re worth love and respect. By the way, you are very attractive.
I don’t think you’re ugly, i think there’s something different about you and that’s good. Why are you wasting time thinking about this loser.. yes I said it, LOSER. You’re better than that.. and to the girl who broke up your relationship.. it takes two to tango.. he knew exactly what he was doing.. tons of people lose a friend or lose their job and they don’t go have a sexcapade-
be happy you got out when you did, know that he did you a favor.. don’t waste your time on a silly BOY like this.. theres better men out there.. just have to wait around.
To be completely honest I can’t see why you were with him for so long. He seems like a complete dog and from how you described it he was using you the whole time. If he wouldn’t let you move in with him after 6 years, he was never that interested, I am sorry to say. I looked at your pictures and I don’t understand how and why you put up with his bullsh*t for so long, you can obviously do so much better. Your best bet is just to forget about him, it sucks that you wasted so much time on him, but he was never in it. Don’t bother thinking about him anymore. Try just being alone for a little while until you are confident and independent, and then go hunting. Best of luck to you.
Some men are just too immature for a forever relationship. It sounds like he was using you. Think about it, he got all the benefits of a normal relationship but still got to go home by himself and didn’t have to worry about anything. The best thing for you to do is to leave him alone. He’s playing games with you and because you love him you’re allowing it. He might love you but just isn’t ready for that type of commitment. A lot of men never are because they like that freedom too much. Move on with your life and find someone else. Don’t jump in another relationship right away either. Give yourself time to be single and really think about what you want out of a relationship. Give yourself time to get over him. And the next time you see this girl, smile and wave. It’ll confuse the h*ll out of her and make her think that you’re happier and that what she did had no affect on you.
If you think you’re ugly then do something about it, I personally don’t think you are. It’s always good to change yourself for the better after a breakup anyways. Do something different with your hair, wear something that makes you feel beautiful, go to a gym, start running or something. Get dressed up and go out but the only rules are are that you have to have fun and not think about him.
He is a fool, you certainly not ugly or unsexy.. What ever gave you that idea. You can do better than him as he was afraid of commitment and that was most probably the reason he did this. I do not know how old you are, but a lot of guys would be proud to have you as a girlfriend.
Well, I don’t think that you are ugly. Some people are just cheaters. More than likely, Once a Cheater ALWAYS a cheater. You need to grasp your inner strength and realize that you do not need ANYONE. And Yes it sucks and hurts hardcore when life-wrecking sluts ruin relationships. I went through this similar situation myself. I learned that I only really have myself. I am the only person I can Ultimately depend on no matter what. And learned through many tearful lonely nights that I was better off. Time passed. And yet 3 years Later I still see that b*****, but she’s crying now. Karma’s a worse B****… you will find a companion who is actually worth being your companion. And when you find them, Angelina Jolie couldnt interfere. True Love is worth waiting for. Too bad you have to go through many fake losers masked as true love. ..hang in there.. be strong